The Blossoming Brain Blog
Saturday, 13. July 2002
CD Saga......Part 5......The fun *really* begins!

Well I will just be frank about the whole thing...I about had real life heart failure when I found out that our assignments for the week only *enjoyed* a one week completion time. Sometime this week, I likened the experience to being run over by a Mack Truck. Not an overall good feeling to have. The major reason was because I hadn't totally completed my week 4 assignments, plus I had really settled into a 2 week schedule kind of thing. When I found out that our 2 week completion time was out the window, I was SO SO SO thankful that we planned our vacation the week after class ends. It would have been absolutely no fun spending my days of vacation working, at the beach no less. Anyway, I think Mrs. McComas was (is) trying to keep us on our toes.... (and her *surprise* worked). Anyway, after I got over the initial shock (which took several days), I sat down and tried to finish my assignments.

So it's kind of ironic that I have been setting the same goal week after week (to finish all of my assignments in week 1), and I finally attained it this week. Well actually I can't say that.....I still need to post my 2nd genre and email my library search. I can't email the search until my dad comes home from work and I get my APA manual out of his car :) But I *will have* attained my goal, hopefully by tonight. But for some reason it hasn't been as fulfilling as I thought....maybe I can attribute that to the fact that I didn't have a choice but to finish my assignments this week. Every other week I have been in control, so to speak. If I finished or didn't finish, it was because I made the decisions on my own. I guess I should be grateful to achieve my goal, no matter the rhyme or reason.

I was *mildly* relieved to see that there were fewer assignments this week. I decided to knock out the web evaluations email and reading first. But I did work on my library search off and on in the meantime. After I finished those, I sat down and wrote my poem for my 2nd genre. I can't decide if I am pleased with it as a whole. I like parts of it, but maybe some other parts need to be changed. So I am going to post it with the mindset that it might need some (alot) of revision. I was just *mortified* at how incredibly hard it was to right a poem from the mindset of a girl who can't speak. I had no idea what life must be like for her, yet I am trying to describe it. So that whole experience scared me because I know that I am going to be writing more things.....from a standpoint that I haven't even experienced. I just wonder.....if an actual AAC device user read my poem, would they, too, be *mortified*? Have I portrayed their thoughts and feelings in a superficial manner? Would they "flame" me with an email telling me that I had no idea what I was doing? I just think the whole thing is scary. Maybe I shouldn't feel that way, but I do. Actually, I will probably be opening myself up right now, but I think I have a way to tie this in to me. If someone decided to write a poem about being a *plus sized* (who was thin as a stick), I would be on the other side saying "You have not one clue what it feels like, what life is like, etc....; You have no *authority* to even write about it, because until you have experienced it, you know nothing..." Now I am pretty comfortable with my life because it is who I am. Sure I would go to the "Body Exchange" if it were available, but since it isn't...I will take what I already have! But I was just trying to make a point. And if you aren't plus sized, then use another characteristic about yourself. I think you will get the idea... So those are the emotions that I am dealing with as I write these genres. It's as if I want to do this person (who I have made up) *justice*, because I know that there is someone like her in the world. It's has just not been easy to take on the emotions and feelings of someone else. Anyway, I have my poem written and I am going to post it sometime today.

I have my tenative resources for my library seach. I just need to get my book and type them up. After I do that, I will be DONE. What a sweet word. Oh, but I do have a question about my research. Most people know that I changed my research question to include the monetary realm of AAC devices. In doing my research online, I have not found anything pertaining to the cost, although there were a few articles on the funding available. The articles I picked are focused on answering a few of my foundation questions, but I haven't been able to bring in anything about the cost. Maybe I need to try and do some different research strategies. Its amazing how many of the articles are about AAC devices and the population they serve. So stay tuned for an update about the research........

Well I think I have exposed enough of myself for one week..... I hope I am not *over-reacting* about the
genres. Maybe someone can give some comfort or encouragement. Or maybe someone else experienced the same mindset (I haven't read all of the journals yet). Either way it is incredibly hard to put yourself in the shoes of someone whose lifestyle you are blessed enough to have not experienced.

~Enjoy your weekend~

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