*This is one of the journal entries written by Zoe, the 13 year old girl who needs an AAC device. I'm really not sure if I am where I want to be with this genre... but I am anxiously awaiting the peer reviews.
_____________________________

7.01.02

It’s the ending of another day, the beginning of a new month. It’s a wonder that I can write in this journal everyday. What could I possibly have to write about? I rarely ever have anything fun to write about. I guess I use this journal as an outlet for my grief and frustrations. You know, it’s funny—I have only been alive for 13 years, yet most days seem to drag on endlessly.

I had an appointment with a new Speech Pathologist today. Her name was Ms. Fredeking. It was almost refreshing to meet someone else who is single. My parents keep telling me that one day I will find the man of my dreams….but I guess the question really is: Will he find me? It’s funny to listen to my grandmother when I bring up “men.” She keeps reminding me that I am just a “youngin’”…..too young to be worrying about men. But what else is a grandma supposed to say? She is just looking out for her first (and favorite) grandchild! J Anyway, back to therapy….. Ms. Fredeking was nicer than I had expected. Unfortunately, my record with Speech Paths has not been that great. I can only think of one other who I even remotely liked. Maybe today was the “beginning of a beautiful relationship..” Today we spent most of the time getting to know each other. It was a nice break from most of the sessions I have been to. In the near future, we are going to discuss the possibility of getting me an AAC device. I’ve heard a lot about AAC devices, and they sound so cool! I can’t imagine what it would be like to be able to communicate with my family. Maybe if I get a device, I can make some friends. Ya know, a girl shouldn’t have to go through life without any friends. Who else are you supposed to talk to about boys…. I’m still dreaming about going to my very first old fashioned slumber party. My sister goes to them all of the time, and I am jealous. She always talks about how much fun she has, and how she can’t wait to go to another one.
But only one thing stands in the way of an AAC device…… MONEY. I don’t really know what the price tag is, but from the way my parents were talking, I guess it isn’t pretty. They were both talking about getting part time jobs in addition to their full time jobs. I know that they want what is best for me, but I’m not sure its worth it. Let’s face it. I will never be normal. My needs are met. Even though it would be nice to have a new device, the possibility is slim. Ms. Fredeking was telling my parents to look more at the benefits rather than the cost. I overheard her tell them that focusing on the cost would prove to be overwhelming. I should say so. But it’s kind of hard to look at anything else. I guess we will just have to wait and see what happens.
Therapy was the only time I spent out of the house today. When we came home, I saw a group of girls chatting under a big shade tree. I so wanted to be a part of the group/ I think I have figured out why my days drag on forever……I spend most of my time thinking about what my life could be like. I know I will never experience any of it, but dreaming is the only outlet I have right now. Sometimes I wonder how my parents handle the stress. I’m sure that having 5 “normal” kids proves to be stress enough, not mentioning what I add to the heap. I wonder if they dream about the “empty nest”. If I don’t find me a man someday, the nest may never be empty for them….

Well I guess that I have written enough for one day. Maybe tomorrow has something exciting in store for me…